Make them your Priority.
Your experiences make you different from everybody else. That means the person that you are talking to is different from everybody else as well. Isn’t it wonderful to learn about them? That is why it is essential to treat them with respect and at the same time, be curious about them. When you talk to them, they should be your priority at that moment, like nothing else matters.
Guys? I have a question for you. How would you feel if you knew how to have strong, deep and meaningful conversations with anyone? Not only do you get to talk, but you also get to know about their dreams, fears and opinions. Today, I will share with you seven things that you can apply immediately to have those deep conversations.
Open-Ended Questions
I can ask you “ Do you like cricket?” The problem with this question is that you can only give me one of the two answers: Yes or No. Right? However, if I ask you “How does your favorite sport make you feel?”, it guarantees me that you will speak passionately about the sport you like. Isn’t that right? You can also ask open-ended questions like “What is your favorite memory from childhood?” These open-ended questions make the other person speak more and in-depth, and as a result, you get to know more about the person.
Undivided Attention and Listening
When people speak and when they open up about their experiences to you, know that you are special. They have begun to trust you and are now comfortable with you. You must listen to them with full attention.
Keep your phones off, and make sure that there is nothing that can distract you. Listening with undivided attention will make the other person feel heard, and it will also strengthen your relationship with that person. Maintain firm eye contact all the time and try not to interrupt them when they speak.
Silence/ pause.
When in a conversation, we feel the need to reply as soon as possible. We think that if we do not respond, the other person may feel that we are not interested. But it is okay to take your time. You can listen to what they have to say, take your time and then reply. It will allow you to first listen to everything they say and then give a well-thought reply.
Ask questions that seek emotions.
Questions like ‘ What school do you go to?’ or ‘ What is your favourite movie?’ are fact-based. But questions like ‘How did you feel when you scored full marks?’ encourage emotion-based responses. When people begin to answer this question, they will remember the feeling of achievement. After then, let the emotions talk. This is exactly where you will be connected to them. Do you get the point? Talk about their dreams, their future plans and whatnot.
Empathy
I cannot stress this enough. Empathy is when you live the stories that the other person is telling you. If they felt excited in the story, you should feel excited too. If they felt scared, you should know exactly why they felt scared.
Empathy is when you look at things exactly the way the other person does. By doing this, you accept their experiences in a non-judgmental manner. Nothing is more powerful than the feeling of being accepted.
Trust
If they do not trust you, they can never open up to you, and therefore none of the mentioned above things will work. How do you build trust? You build trust by opening about your experiences and being as truthful as you can. The other person can sense when you are making things up and when you are honest.
Those were the seven things that you can apply to have deep meaningful conversations with people. REMEMBER, these are skills that can take time to learn. What I suggest is to practice these skills with your friends and family to become more confident day by day.