Ever had that itchy feeling when your friends are hanging out without you, and you keep refreshing Instagram…
to see what’s happening? That’s FOMO: Fear of Missing Out, and it’s not just in your head.
FOMO is that restless mix of curiosity and anxiety when we think others are having experiences we’re not part of. According to a 2013 study by Andrew K. Przybylski at the University of Essex, FOMO comes from two key psychological needs: our need to feel connected to others, and our need to feel our life is as exciting and meaningful as everyone else’s. When those needs feel under threat, our brains push us to check, scroll, and join in even if we’re already exhausted.
And yes, social media makes it worse. A study in Computers in Human Behavior (2017) found that higher social media use was directly linked to higher FOMO, especially among teens. Why? Because platforms show us a highlight reel of other people’s lives, the best moments, the perfect selfies, the epic trips but never the boring in-between. Your brain starts thinking “Everyone’s doing something amazing except me”, even when it’s not true.
I remember a friend who once skipped studying for a major test because she saw a group chat blow up with “Let’s go now!” messages. She raced out, only to find it was just for tea; which she didn’t even like. She laughed about it later, but admitted she felt like she had to go or she’d “miss something big.” That’s FOMO in action.
Here’s the twist: FOMO can be flipped into JOMO: the Joy of Missing Out. When you choose to stay in, work on a personal project, or just rest, you’re not missing out, you’re actually gaining something important: your time, energy, and focus. The same research shows that when people focus on intrinsic goals (things that matter to them personally), FOMO decreases.
So next time that urge hits, pause. Ask yourself: Am I actually missing out, or am I just comparing my life to a filtered version of someone else’s? Chances are, you’re already right where you need to be, no refreshing required.
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